Why can I not orgasm?

My partner and I have tried everything, but I cannot reach orgasm with him/her. I can have them on my own through masturbation, what should I do?

The condition you are referring to is known as female orgasmic disorder, or anorgasmia, which is the difficulty or impossibility to achieve orgasm. Most sexual difficulties, including anorgasmia, can stem from both physical and psychological causes. In other words, there may be nothing physically wrong, but you may be thinking about the problem too much and creating a mental blockade. Remember, anxiety is the opposite of orgasm. The female climax requires a complete letting go of bodily control, which may be difficult. In addition, you may feel the need to reciprocate sexual stimulation during partner sex, which may be distracting. This may explain why you are able to give yourself an orgasm (because you are focused and in control), but cannot achieve one when someone else is trying to make you climax. Additionally, try not to think about orgasm as the major goal of sex and instead focusing on all of the pleasurable aspects of the interaction. You will certainly enjoy the experience more and you might even reach that orgasm you desire!

While you say that you have tried everything, we want to stress that it is rare for a female to orgasm from penis-vaginal intercourse alone. Females oftentimes find that cunnilingus (oral stimulation of the clitoris and vulva) is usually the sexual practice that leads to orgasm because the clitoris is directly stimulated. Talk to your partner; make sure he/she is doing what you want him/her to do. Your partner cannot feel the sensations you are feeling, so using communication will definitely help! Allowing your partner to watch you masturbate (manually or with a vibrator) can be a good way to show him/her exactly what you want. For more information, please see our in-depth article on Anorgasmia. Best of luck!