Why does my vagina sometimes feel different to my partner? Sometimes it feels looser than normal.

There could be several possible answers to this question. The first possibility is that there could be no specific reason for the changes, as sex is never quite the same and can feel different each time! Women’s bodies respond in different ways depending on many factors such as stress level,  mood, or the stage of their menstrual cycle. We recommend experimenting by having sex at different times of the day/week/month and see if any of these feelings change. Also, if a women hasn’t had sex in a while, the muscles in their vagina will become used to being closed, so the first time they have sex after a break their vagina may be a little tighter than normal.

    The difference that a women’s partner is experiencing could be dependent on which sex position they both are in. He will feel a difference depending on how the women’s body is positioned and the angle of penetration. One position that can increase the feeling of “tightness” is if the woman lays on their stomach with their legs together and have their partner enter from behind. The added friction from the women’s thighs will provide their partner with more pressure and “tightness.”

    The amount of time spent on foreplay also changes both the lubrication level and the shape of a women’s vagina. If a woman is not properly and completely aroused, they will not have a lot of natural lubrication, which will make their partner feel more friction but could end up being painful for them. Most of the time, the vagina lies flat, but when a female is aroused, the vagina lengthens and the inner two-thirds expand in a process called “tenting.” The biological function of this action is to create a receptacle for semen. When a woman is properly aroused, the factors mentioned above may combine to make it feel as if their vagina is “looser,” but it should not be a concern as this is their body’s natural reaction to ensure that the sex is pleasurable and comfortable for them.

There is one way that a woman can increase the strength of their vaginal muscles (and in turn tightness of their vagina), and it is through Kegel exercises. Kegel exercises strengthen the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, which forms the pelvic floor and supports the pelvic organs, to increase sexual response and satisfaction. To locate their PC muscle, they must try stopping the flow of their urine. The muscle that they clench to do this is their PC muscle. Practice squeezing this muscle, and gradually build up the number of repetitions and the length of each squeeze. Just like normal exercise, doing this often will strengthen a woman’s PC muscle. Anyone can practice Kegel exercises discretely almost anytime and anywhere (e.g., in their car, in their living room, etc.). Strengthening this muscle will add to the overall tightness of their vagina and also give you stronger contractions during orgasm, which will make their orgasms feel more powerful (a win-win situation!). Women can try clenching their PC muscle slightly during sex to increase the pleasure for her and her partner.