What should I do if my partner and I have different sex drives?

I want to have sex more often than my partner, is this normal? How can I solve this problem?


It is common for couples to find that they have different sex drives. Just because your libidos are not currently synchronized does not mean that you and your partner cannot enjoy a gratifying sexual relationship. This difference can be solved through communication, compromise, and the use of other outlets for your sexual energy.

    First, do not feel shy communicating about sex with your partner and telling him when you are aroused. Through effective communication you and your partner can come to better understand each other’s physical needs and desires and reach a happy compromise. You may also want to set aside time for you and your partner that is specifically designated for intimacy. If your partner is too tired for sex in the evening, try initiating sexual intercourse in the morning or midday while you are both refreshed and energetic. If there are times when your partner would not like to participate in sexual activity but you find yourself aroused, there are ways in which you can resolve your arousal yourself. Masturbation is an extremely healthy way to get to know your own body and release sexual tension without a partner. It could be done alone or even in front of your partner. Another useful way to release energy is to exercise; this activity is good for you and can help alleviate sexual energy. You could also try to focus your thoughts somewhere else when you feel yourself becoming aroused. This could be a solo activity or something you and your partner do together. You could propose a fun activity that you both will enjoy that will help you take your mind off your arousal.

    There is nothing wrong or unusual with having a high libido and being in a relationship with someone whose libido is not the same as yours. Communication is key to resolving differences that naturally arise in any relationship.